chimena

Personally I've always found cycles very very satisfying.  There is nothing nicer than returning to a point in a perfect, seamless cycle.
Unless you never LIKED that first point in the first place.
Getting to sleep is a bitch lately, it always is, but last night was really the worst night of my life.  Everything was deathly still, deathly calm, and the only noises permeating the evening were the sounds of a needle scratching a record and the sound of me breathing in calm and exhaling lacy tendrils of stress.
The same record played over and over last night.  I knew all the words backwards and forwards and whispered them even after I lost the ability to consciously speak them.
The same songs played over and over.  I listened to every song from Wishing Well to Innocence and this created another cycle in my life, but at least this was one I could control.  I could have taken the needle off the record any time I wanted, but I didn't want to.
I guess that was the problem in the end, if you can call it a"problem"

and written across my hands and face, it seems to mutter
"When someone looks into your eyes they should see the depth of understanding
and if they should ask "is something wrong" then obviously they can't hear you shouting... for in silence you will shout louder than you ever have with words.  If you should have the need to say anything then say it with the fire and unbridled passion that you used to encapsulate, scream with the power that only you can muster.  While a battle may rage in your head, maintain the silence.  The world doesn't need another war.
Hush because only in silence will you express what you've wanted to express for so long."

Just ignore the photos that go with it.  Listen to the music.  I like closing my eyes.
Phillip

I think it's official that people will never stop dying in my eyes.
I woke up today in the most amazing euphoria ever.  I went to sleep sometime in the early morning and woke up a few hours later feeling more golden than I've ever felt in my life.
I'd cocooned myself in my blankets so that i could stare at the clock and cry about how safe and wonderful I felt.
Then I made the mistake of getting out of bed.  The euphoria faded and I'm stuck doing housework, which is okay...Housework is something I'm good at, but I feel like it's just another reminder that I have nothing to do.
9 is coming out very soon.  I'm excited.  Is nobody else excited?  I imagine I'll see it alone because nobody else is excited.
Forgetting things is a very uncool thing, but being forgotten is even worse.  I'm happy to have an extra day to not do anything.
Buh-bye.

I thought of another song.

For No One - The Beatles

Us - Regina Spektor (Okay...so yeah..the music video...I have no excuse for that but i searched very hard for a real video but..we can settle for Spock right?)

Hurt - Johnny Cash (Johnny did a great job with this song.  I can't really say any more about it but it's definitely worth listening to.)

Panic - The Smiths (I bought this CD so so so long ago and I've never stopped listening to it.  It's perfect.)

Drunken Lullabys - Flogging Molly (Oh mr. Bolger...you card.)

There would be more if i wasn't completely exhausted and currently I've been listening to the same few songs over and over with an unrivaled passion for masochistic music.
Haha.

It's been at least a year since I tried playing my way through a pokemon game and much longer since I bothered to buy one.  Whether it was lack of money or lack of time, I was letting my dream of traveling the world with mutated animals go into the "wasted pipe dreams" box where I store 3/4ths of my life.
I didn't know I would awaken the beast inside of me that was a rabid pokemon fan from the age of like...9.
I will admit my hands trembled slightly when I pulled aside the plastic.  "This is it," I thought "the pokemon game to end all pokemon games.  We've gone beyond primary colors.  We've gone platinum."
I spent the next few minutes driving home using my knees while trying to catch glimpses of the booklet I'd taken out of the inside.  There were so many new pokemon to learn, all kinds of new evolutions and types.  It would be like learning the game all over again.
I got home, dropped my purse, and grabbed my DS ready to immerse myself in the crazy world I'd known as a child.  In order to get there I first have to go through those stupid steps that ANYONE who has played a pokemon game knows.
-Giving yourself a name
-Giving your "rival" a name (It seems like they've abandoned the "rival" concept and it is now your best friend whom you meet and challenges your abilities in a very friendly way.  God forbid children feel a little competitve.)
AND my personal favorite
-"are you a BOY? or a GIRL?"
After making my way through the general muck at the beginning (which is meant to instruct those pokemon n00bs out there what the whole point of pokemon is) I was able to explore my world and see if it met my standards.
I have to say it did...then it EXCEEDED them.
The first thing I enjoyed was the mundane similarities between the oldest pokemon games and this new one.  I can still wander in a cave and get sick of running into wild Zubats.  Keeping the original favorites of mine and their habits of either being EVERYWHERE or being NOWHERE really made me feel closer to the game...
as if it was not a NEW friend to me..but rather a friend who had undergone extensive plastic surgery.
The other thing that really caught me was something so silly and trivial and yet revolutionary.
You can RUN in HOUSES.
Other pokemon games either left running out altogether or limited it to the outdoors which would often result in tedious multi layered buildings that would take the good part of 2-3 minutes to scale.  Now I can just hold down B all the time and walk SLIGHTLY faster than I was before.
I haven't had many run ins with new pokemon but from what I can tell they haven't strayed terribly far from what they were working with in the first place...
and that is why I thank the creators from the depths of my cold and video game obsessed heart.